The Love Languages

Have you heard of the Five Love Languages?

Ok, I guess you may be asking me now "Duh, why would I be interested in that thing? I know how to love anyway!"

Then, I have these questions for you…

Are you trying so hard to please your mom by your gifts, and yet a simple "I love you, Mom!" makes her day complete?

Have you been trying to make your girlfriend smile through your "How are you, dear?" using your mobile phone, and yet it's only when you accompany her shopping all day that has made her smile so bright?

Are you asking yourself now "I think Dad doesn't love me, I've been helping him diligently in every tasks, but why is it that it's when I give him some gifts that I get recognized?"

Have you been trying to buy monthsary (anniversary counted by months) gifts for your boyfriend, and yet it's when you say "Let me help you finish that task.." that you seem to make him happy?

Have you been with your friend in every occasion, but it seems a simple "pat in the back" is more appreciated?

Perhaps, your loved ones do have a different Love Language from what you've expected from them…

Dr. Gary Chapman in his book "The 5 Love Languages" clearly describes each love languages.

Words of Affirmation
Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important-hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there-with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby-makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts
Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous-so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter.

Physical TouchThis language isn't all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face-they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

Source: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/

Try to learn the Love Languages of your loved ones, and of course, learn your Love Languages too!

© 2011 Erickson Ibana