Types of Love: What is Yours?

“You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” ~ Sam Keen

I was given a sort of an assessment about love by a friend of mine who took up a course on Behavioral Science.

It was a test to find out what Style of Love I somehow possess.
Doing some little research, these are the 6 Different Types of Love:

1. Eros Love. Eros lovers tend to emphasize romantic relationships, physical beauty, desire, and physical attraction. Relationships based on eros love tend to fizzle quickly, because these types of lovers can’t maintain this high level of passion. An eros lover’s approach to a healthy romantic relationship involves an intense focus on the emotional aspects of love, including finding different ways to express love.

2. Pragma Love. Pragma lovers are rational and practical – and so is their approach to romance and healthy relationships. This type of lover decides to love someone who best fits their requirements and meets their needs. Pragma lovers assess potential partners for appropriate education levels, professions, income, social status, common interests, parent potential, and material possessions. A pragma lover’s approach to a healthy romantic relationship doesn’t focus on the emotional aspects of love.

3. Storge Love. Storge lovers focus on friendship to build a healthy relationship. This style of love usually begins with a strong friendship, which eventually develops into feelings of romantic love and intimacy. The sexual aspect of storge love tends to be less important than the friendship aspect (making the approach to romance a lower priority). A storge lover’s approach to a healthy romantic relationship focuses on caring, compassion, and heart-to-heart discussions.

4. Agape Love. Agape lovers are known for their selfless love or brotherly love. Agape love is also know as “divine love” because it’s self-sacrificing and altruistic love. An agape lover’s approach to a healthy relationship focuses on giving without any expectations or strings attached. Agape love is best suited for the love of God, saints and martyrs because healthy romantic relationships require a balance of giving and receiving (not just giving, as an agape lover would tend to do).

5. Ludus Love. Ludus lovers tend to be game players in romance. Ludus lovers are addicted to the excitement of forming a romantic relationship, and aren’t as enthralled by building a healthy long-term marriage. A ludus lover’s approach to a healthy romantic relationship involves the thrill of the chase and the thrill of new romance, not the work of building a long-term commitment.

6. Mania Love. Remember Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction? She was a manic lover: possessive, dependent, jealous, and controlling. These are signs of addictive relationships — not healthy romantic love! A manic lover’s approach to a “healthy” romantic relationship focuses on turmoil, extreme reactions, and even obsession. Mania love can involve threats, stalking, or worse.

These six styles of romance, intimacy, and friendship are based on Canadian sociologist John Allen Lee’s theory of love.
Source: http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/6_styles_of_love

 Of the six, the test showed that Pragma is the most dominant for me, followed by Storge.

Hmm.. Perhaps, circumstances have led me into this state. Being the eldest among my siblings, and the major source of income for the family, I couldn’t help but think of my family’s status before entering into “serious relationships”.

Well, I really wish I have the Agape love, the unconditional love, the love Christ has showed me when He saved me from my wretched state and into His saving and loving arms.

When everything else around me seems to fail,
And when my faith seems to falter,
When all I hold on to seems to be gone,
And all my hopes and dreams  seem to vanish.
When things are not going as I first expected,
And frustrations seem to eat away my flickering faith…
Whenever I look at your love for me,
And focus on your unconditional love,
Everything around me starts to dim,
Giving me another reason to strive,
And run this race called “life”,
For You and only You, my God, my Friend.
~ © 2011 Erickson Ibana

© 2011 Erickson Ibana